Vi Putnam, the poet noted “ The quarrels of lovers are like summer storms.” I think that is a great analogy. When you have those summer storms in your relationship know that the thunder headed clouds are temporary and not a reflection of your relationship as a whole. I think that is a great analogy.
I’m not saying that you can say and do anything during an argument and the other person should just forget it. My feelings on what is said in an argument were expressed in an earlier blog (July 24, 2012.) In a nutshell, you must consider what you say in an argument carefully because you can win an argument and lose the relationship. Because terrible words, once said may be forgiven because of your love, but they will never be forgotten.
And it is the buildup over the years of those things that will never be forgotten, the walls we throw up that can kill a relationship (marriage.) In other words, Those unforgotten, always remembered hurts leave us with baggage that often can never be made into matched luggage again.
Remember all good relationships involve a certain amount of compromise. If one person gets everything their way then the other person is always sublimating their desires and once for the other person. That gets old pretty quickly.
What I am saying is that there is going to be periods in your relationship where you will argue. It happens to us all. And you will be angry with each other. Now unless that argument and anger turns to physical or emotional abuse, it is OK, and should not be used to judge your relationship overall.
We’ll discuss more about fighting fair and negotiation of power within a relationship with other blog entries.
As always, I hope that the information shared here is helpful to you.